Artful Touch
Tues-Thur+Sat 10:00-20:00

The Grief Recovery Method®

If you are interested in being notified of upcoming grief recovery groups, please join the Artful Touch mailing list.

If you're here, it's probably because you're feeling some kinda way about some kinda thing, and chances are, that way isn't a very happy set of feelings. So let's start from the beginning, and come to a working definition of what, I suggest, may be a key factor in all that's going on for you.

What is Grief?

“Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior.” – The Grief Recovery Institute®

Grief, unavoidable as it is, has been molded into a stigmatized and misunderstood affliction. The emotional struggles of grief are most often automatically met with railroading intellectualization, which, in terms of feelings, is pretty much synonymous with outright dismissal. Our brains may be very good at bullying our emotions when it seems to be required, but that doesn't negate the legitimate process that's underway under the surface, in our heart and in our body.

If you've ever been pissed off by the useless platitudes you encounter when losing something meaningful in your life, this page is for you. And if you recognize yourself on the other side of this interaction, tripping over empty statements when someone around you is grieving, this page is for you too. I'm gonna bet that covers everyone, in both directions, so let's move on.

Good Grief: Why are we so bad at it?

Most of us in what is known as the Western world have been taught a suffocating avalanche about how to acquire stuff and things and people, yet been presented with virtually no relevant, useful guidance in regards to how to handle the inevitable loss of the things we are encouraged to covet.

In many cases, our entire identities and social statuses are linked to things that we could lose at virtually any time, and that's only speaking to the tangibles, when there are so many intangible losses that are even more prevalent and impactful (like loss of trust, loss of safety, loss of mobility, self connection, health).

To cope, we focus on our circumstantial stories and the actions of others in our intellectual attempts to rationalize our emotional responses away. But conflicting emotions are your normal, natural response to loss, a process that must be witnessed and honored by parts of us that are not our intellect to be handled effectively.

What we commonly learn about navigating grief is rooted in ideas that encourage us to quietly poison ourselves by holding on to what is meant to move through us. How are we supposed to heal from emotional traumas, rise triumphantly from the ashes, or even just meet the demands of a fast-shifting world, when the grief recovery advice we get sounds like:

MYTHS ABOUT GRIEF

  • Grief is thing that's reserved only for death and the end of romantic relationships
  • People who struggle with navigating loss are weak and stupid
  • Significant losses will always hurt forever and ever but it gets a little better at some point though
  • There is an acceptable timeframe for legit mourning, and after that there must be something wrong with you.
  • There are tidy “stages” of grief.
  • Time heals.
  • Replace the loss.
  • Grieve alone.
  • Be strong.
  • Don’t feel bad.
  • Keep busy.

You’ve probably heard and experienced these pervasive and insidious myths about grief in action for most of your life, and somewhere in there I'll bet you've been able to smell them for what they really are, too.

For example: “Don’t feel bad” often takes the form of statements like “It could have been so much worse”, "At least you had a long time together", "You're better off without them/it", “Onward and upward”, “Don’t cry”, “She wouldn’t want you to be sad”, “She’s at peace with God now”, and “Look on the bright side”.

Another example: “Time Heals”. It’s one of the most common of the major myths about grief, and potentially the most devastating of them as well, because it paralyzes us into non-action when, frankly, waiting for time to heal your emotional wounds is like waiting for time to fill a flat fuckin' tire.

Not only is it implied through these myths that our unavoidable, universal experience of loss is somehow a personal failure, we are also taught to stigmatize ourselves and each other for what we don’t already know.

We've all heard the trope about the definition of insanity: Life sure would be a lot easier if simply recognizing a problem immediately provided the tools to address it, however embodying the myths of grief and grieving is what most of us have been taught, so that is what we do, because we only have immediate access to what we have already learned.

Recovery from Grief is Possible

Still resonating? Excellent. For many people, the decision to commit to doing something new to help themselves is in itself a turning point in the quality of their relationships, and in their life. What better time to rise to this challenge than now? Make a decision, any decision, to change the way you approach grief.

About the Program

The Grief Recovery Method® is comprised of proven session programs that have helped thousands of people let go of the pain, the confusion, and the suffering surrounding the loss they have experienced in their lives.

In a program of 8 sessions, that are ~90 minutes each, we will:

  • Further define grief and loss in a tangible, straightforward way.
  • Continue to dismantle the myths and misconceptions regarding grief and grieving.
  • Learn to safely and respectfully enroll others in our grieving process.
  • Empower ourselves to better support loved ones through loss.
  • Address what about your most impactful loss is left incomplete, and complete it.
  • Leave with a repeatable structure from which to efficiently approach future (and past) grief experiences.

The Grief Recovery Method is a program of action that will help you change. It is a method of completing grief through simple and small actions taught step by step, in 8 sessions, as a one on one setting or in a small group. In those 8 sessions, I guide you through experiential learning of a better way, that actually works, of completing your emotional losses, by working one of yours with you.

The program is non-secular, and will work for anyone, regardless of their faith, spiritual belief system, or other forms of orientation.

Grief Recovery Method programs are not support groups, ongoing therapy, or drop-in classes

Materials and Time Commitment

  • Programs are offered either weekly for 8 weeks, or twice-weekly for 4 weeks.
  • Group sessions are up to two hours, one-on-one sessions are usually an hour to 90 minutes.
  • You will need to bring a notepad and pen to every session
  • Expect to do 2-4 hours of homework between coaching sessions.
  • All Grief Recovery programs I offer include your own copy of The Grief Recovery HandBook

Facilitator Statement

My interest and aptitude for helping grieving people did not start out as an active career choice, but rather a byproduct of the struggles I experienced in trying to move forward from my own losses. 

I’m hoping my passion for self care education has already shown through, and that reading a bit about the misinformation we’ve all been handed down has helped you. Regardless of whether I ever see you in one of my recovery programs, it is my goal to have offered information that can help ease the confusion and isolation of your grief experience.

If you have any questions, contact me any time. You can learn further about The Grief Recovery Method® program I facilitate and the Institute which certified me on the Grief Recovery Method website as well.

If you are interested in being notified of upcoming grief recovery groups, please join the Artful Touch mailing list.

Take care of you,
Courtnee Fallon Rex, CGRS

Associated Bodywork & Massage Professionals
© Copyright 2018 Artful Touch. All rights reserved.