If you're here, reading about grief, it's probably because you're feeling some kinda way about some kinda thing, and chances are, that way isn't a very happy set of feelings. For some, even seeing the words "grief" and "recovery" in a sentence together seems a radical proposition. So let's start with the basics, and define what it is we're talking about.
What is Grief?
“Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of, or change in, a familiar pattern of behavior.” – The Grief Recovery Institute®
Conflicting emotions are your normal, natural response to loss. Yet, the conflicting feelings of grief are overwhelmingly intellectualized within an inch of their half life, and the skills most of us have to recover equilibrium are usually useless platitudes and ideas that encourage us to contain and stifle what is meant to move through us.
How exactly are we supposed to move beyond loss, heal from our emotional traumas, rise triumphantly from the ashes, or even just meet the slippery demands of a fast-shifting world, when the conventional ideas about grieving look like:
- Grief is reserved only for "big" things like death and the end of romantic relationships.
- People who struggle with navigating loss struggle because they are weak and stupid.
- Significant losses will always hurt forever and ever but it gets a little better at some point though.
- There is an acceptable timeframe for legit mourning, and after that there must be something wrong with you.
- There are tidy, linear “stages” of grief.
- Time heals.
- Replace the loss.
- Grieve alone.
- Be strong.
- Don’t feel bad.
- Keep busy.
You’ve probably heard and experienced these notions for most of your life. For example: “Don’t feel bad” often takes the form of statements like “It could have been so much worse”, "At least you had a long time together", "You're better off without them/it", “Onward and upward”, “Don’t cry”, “She wouldn’t want you to be sad”, “She’s at peace with God now”, and “Look on the bright side”.
Another example: “Time Heals”. It’s one of the most common of the major myths about grief, and potentially the most devastating of them as well, because it paralyzes us into non-action when, frankly, waiting for time to heal your emotional wounds is like waiting for time to fill a flat fuckin' tire.
If you're anything like me, you're tired of tackling these soulless excuses for advice with kid gloves, a resigned smile, and manufactured appreciation for the well-meaning motivations behind their delivery. If you're like I was when I discovered grief recovery, you're downright sick of feeling like shit, alone, being strong, staying busy, and mowing through life on a bunch of flat tires.
Recovery from Grief is Possible
Most of us in what is known as the Western world have been exposed to a suffocating avalanche of pressure to acquire stuff, work, relationships, things, even people. Yet our social paradigm presents us with virtually no relevant, useful guidance in regards to how to handle the inevitable loss of virtually anything.
I wanna go out on a limb here and suggest that your difficulty in bouncing back, getting over it, or adjusting to new circumstances is not your fault or because of something wrong with you. Our unavoidable, universal experience of loss is so often painted as individual personal failure, and we are also taught to stigmatize ourselves and each other for what we don’t already know.
Embodying the myths of grief and grieving is what most of us have been taught, so that is what we do, because we only have immediate access to what we have already learned.
About the Program
The Grief Recovery Method® is comprised of proven session programs that have helped thousands of people let go of the pain, the confusion, and the suffering surrounding the loss they have experienced in their lives.
In a program of 8 sessions, that are ~90 minutes each, we will:
- Further define grief and loss in a tangible, straightforward way.
- Continue to dismantle the myths and misconceptions regarding grief and grieving.
- Learn to view repeating patterns and compounding losses in a constructive, accurate way.
- Address what about your most impactful loss is left incomplete, and complete it.
- Leave with a repeatable structure from which to efficiently approach future (and past) grief experiences.
- Gain the skills required to safely and respectfully enroll others in our grieving process.
- Empower ourselves to better support loved ones through loss.
The Grief Recovery Method is a program of action that will help you change. It is a method of completing grief through simple and small actions taught step by step, in 8 sessions, as a one on one setting or in a small group. In those 8 sessions, I guide you through experiential learning of a better way, that actually works, of completing your emotional losses, by working one of yours with you.
The program is non-secular, and will work for anyone, regardless of their faith, spiritual belief system, or other forms of orientation.
Grief Recovery Method programs are not support groups, ongoing therapy, or drop-in classes.
Materials and Time Commitment
- Programs are offered either weekly for 8 weeks, or twice-weekly for 4 weeks.
- Group sessions are up to two hours, one-on-one sessions are usually an hour to 90 minutes.
- You will need to bring a notepad and pen to every session
- Expect to do 2-4 hours of homework between coaching sessions.
- All Grief Recovery programs I offer include your own copy of The Grief Recovery HandBook
Whether you truly believe today that recovery from grief is possible, I hope finding yourself here prompts you to consider changing, even in some small way, how you approach grief.
Regardless of whether I ever see you in one of my recovery programs, it is my goal to have offered information that can help ease the confusion and isolation of your grief experience; which is both completely unique, and utterly universal, at the same time.
If the idea of hunkering down, getting to work, and taking your recovery seriously invigorates you, knowing the Grief Recovery Method may be an integral step to taking back your emotional life. If your response to my cussing out grief myths was an increase in your desire to work with me, I may just be the recovery specialist for you, too -- and if not, there are many more of us out there!
Additionally, if you are interested in being notified of my upcoming grief recovery groups, please join the Artful Touch mailing list.